The Measuring Stick

Measuring my parenting by the things I couldn’t give my kids was a trap that I readily fell into on occasion. I wish I could have given them that big wooden toy thing in the backyard or taken them to Disney or on an iconic NYC trip. The list is long of how I thought things should have gone during the raising years. The reality of life though was dancing in the living room to silly songs and being happy with watching movies and eating popcorn. It was in the car with my oldest daughter on the way to her first year of college that I finally learned that the measuring stick I had been using was a faulty one. During the drive, I was trying to make sure that she had every last bit of wisdom that I could think of. You know, those little things like separate your darks from your lights. When I was finished spewing irrelevant tidbits to her I just looked at her and said, “I hope you had a good childhood.” She looked back at me and said, “Mom, it was the best.” At that moment the floodgates just opened. The years had gone so fast, and I wasn’t ready to let go yet. But it was time. In that moment, I realized that what I thought she had missed out on in life was not what really mattered. All of the material things I had measured my parenting by were not the things my daughter needed in order to develop into the strong and beautiful person that she had become. Would she have loved to have played on a big wooden toy in the backyard or gone on a fun Disney trip? Of course! And I would have loved to have given them to her. However, what I realized in the car that day is that I had spent countless hours wasting time on worrying about what I couldn’t give her instead of celebrating what I did. Strength of character doesn’t come from an easy life. It comes from having to figure things out and learning to be content with the blessings in front of you.

As we seek to give God the glory in our daily walk, our path is not always smooth. Our measuring stick of success is often redefined through our failures as we are forced to stretch and grow. However, God is faithful and using Him as our measuring stick in life will help to keep us both grounded and focused on what is important.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)

This summer our daughter got married. Lord willing, there will be grand babies in the future. I know I will spoil them, and they will be loved immensely. However, it might not be such a bad thing if they didn’t get the metaphorical big wooden toy in their backyard.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)